We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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