we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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