This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
