I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
