Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
