i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
