I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think i have two assholes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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