um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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