worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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