i don't like sucking hair
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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