Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
