Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize