Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Randomize
