and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
