it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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