Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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