rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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