Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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