Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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