He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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