Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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