My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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