i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
