you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
