I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
