Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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