just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
