There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
