his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
