ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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