We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
