hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
