i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
