I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
