insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
