I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
