Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
