Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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