You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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