All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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