she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
