Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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