Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she looked like the before picture.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
