Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
