she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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