I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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