we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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