A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
