I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize