Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
