i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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