you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
FUCK WHALES
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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