put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
