I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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