She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
