Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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