i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
