Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
