Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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