I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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