the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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