I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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