I cockslap morals
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
