Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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