I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
